CH1 PG1

This is very good so far - a few suggestions (for the writers sanity)

Have a plot line for each of ur main characters - cos this is a novel and things get confusing. Set out major things - like meeting jack ect.

Also, run a few drafts in ur mind before u type (ur using a typewriter, right? If not, that the best button on the keyboard is backspace!)

okay advise over........

a few questions on my part (i am vry curious)

What is the central thing that is linking all these character together? The fountain? or the Candy?

And who r all these people? (i get confused eaily, but yeh)

and yeh, i think thats it........